My heart is beating like crazy. I’ve dreamed about a woman like Robin my whole life. I am still terrified that at any moment she will realize that I am not good enough for her because she is so… everything I am not. What could she possibly like about me?
I haven’t worn a dress in forever and now I am sitting next to her, make up and everything.
My best friend is across from us. Well, she is my best friend but I am not hers. Until recently she was the person I wanted to be my Top, but she is straight and not at all into it. She has been in my focus for more than 7 years and now, there is this wonderful creature next to me.
Selena is talking constantly like she always does when she is uncomfortable. She can see that there is something going on between her former high-school friend and her 18 year old younger puppy who used to follow her around and adore her. She knows I am kind of homosexual, more homo romantic, but I am not sure that she ever paid attention to me emphasizing that.
Selena looked at me differently when she saw me all dressed up. I usually wear jeans (regular, not skinny!) and a baggy T-shirt. She hates how I dress but tonight she was impressed. Selena and I were sitting at the same cafe where I had first met Robin. And then SHE entered, majestic and nonchalant. I stood up immediately, but Selena was closer.
They casually said Hi to each other and then Robin looked at me. I think I saw lust in her eyes! It was the first time I ever saw that in woman’s eyes!
She approached me slowly. I was terrified of what would happen next. My country isn’t too LGBT aware or open. It’s not too bad, but lesbians are extremely rarely seen.
I went for a hug and got a wonderful long, long hug. I usually hug with my eyes closed but I was too nervous and opened them to see that nobody was paying attention.
While we were sitting Robin kept touching my hand, or lightly and quickly going through my hair. I hugged her couple of times when she said some nice things to me. Selena was looking at us as if we were nuts.
At the end of the evening, she had to leave early, so I went with her to her car and we kissed in the dark empty parking lot.
I almost felt aroused. I am sure she did as well. But she used her will power to stop.
– …I have to go, kiddow… – she took my face in her hands – I am sorry… I’ll make it up to you.
The fact that she was leaving for a whole week made me incredibly sad and when I realized that she could realize her mistake in starting to date me I felt petrified.
– Hey, hey.. kiddow…what’s happening! No crying… – she was alarmed, but then in a split second she became stern… I thought to myself “distant Selena all over again” and I went for a hug to prove myself wrong, but she stopped me and took my face in her hands again.
-No. Talk to me. What is happening?
– I am sorry – I sniffled.- Nothing… I am sorry for ruining everything…
– woooow… wait. You didn’t ruin anything and you won’t. You could make me late, though, if you don’t tell me why you are crying. – since I wasn’t saying anything because I felt anything I say would be wrong, she continued – because if you don’t I will have to spank you right here… and I would definitely be late then…
Her voice sounded determined, a little bit strict, but most of all she looked like she was actually planning what would be the best way to do it. I felt calm and comforted that that was her solution. Not leaving me, or becoming distant, or changing her mind about me, or ignoring my feelings … in summary none of the things Selena would do. I smiled happily.
-Now, … everything is really ok. – And with that I wrapped my arms around her. I hadn’t felt such emotional closeness with anyone in such a long time. She held me tight and as she was kissing my hair she said:
– So, I owe you a spanking when I come back.
– Yes! – I said as if she were promising the most wonderful thing in the world. She laughed at my answer…
A whole week passed before I found out why it was so funny.